A Moment with You: An Epic Fail

Disclaimer:

 I never really wanted to sound serious or end my thoughts with a sad note, but sometimes being sad is good. It could mean that somehow happiness might soon come your way.  I’m inspired by all the amazing works of Wong Fu Production although I often find myself turning green out of envy. (Because) I wish I could do things (like them) and inspire people (like the way they do). The tesseract stuff at the ending was all due to The Newberry Award Winning Classic by Madeleine L’Engle.  Funny because I realized how strange Wong Fu’s contemporary and L’Engle’s classic’s effect on my thoughts and writing.  It’s the tension of opposites but I’m happy and thankful that I get this all out of my head through words.

A Moment with You: An Epic Fail

I was browsing the internet for several days now hoping to find a free download of Wong Fu Productions’ full length film, A Moment with You.  Disheartened for the nth time I drew a deep breath and admitted defeat.  There’s no easy way to see the film.  I had to have it the hard way (for it is the only way). 

The hard way means I have to invest and purchase it through their online store.  I was willing to invest on it (and even on all the awkward animals and nice girl shirts) hard as it may seems for it means saving my lunch money for a month or longer (which can also be translated to bankruptcy).  But the thing was I had to have a credit card for that’s the only way I could make a purchase. 

Now read this… I have NO credit card, meaning my search for A Moment with You was an epic fail.  Well sometimes living in a small town on a third world country could really be annoying.  Not that I mind the absence of a credit card. Err, I guess now I DO because it gave me a limited access to something I am interested of and honestly, crazy about.

Crazy about?  There’s another thing I was crazy about but it’s not a DVD.  It’s a person and as of the moment I cannot recall his name.  Lately I’ve been having this selective amnesia when it comes to anything that is associated to him. Let’s just name him You then.

People might ask what caused my selective amnesia, it was due to another epic fail in my search for a moment with You.  But this fail was even greater because I never really had to use a credit card to be near him.  He was within my reach and yet he was like the farthest star in the sky. Yes, You was near and yet so far away. This simple fact like the famous line from a song tugs at my heartstrings.

You was like a mass of air that surrounds my existence… essential but something I cannot contain in the vacuum of my heart.

Like the many times I’ve searched for the copy of the film, greater was the number of my search for a moment with You.  I have done almost everything in my ability and muster my little courage but never of the attempts worked like I hoped for.

There was this cold, invisible wall that seems to block my every effort of getting near You.  I did try to break the wall but it was impossible.  It was always present, always against my advantage.

But far greater than the wall was You’s passive nature.  The cold smiles…  The unfriendly conversation...  The nonchalance…  They made all the moment with You impossible. That was when the selective amnesia started.

I tried to have a moment with You because of the now unclear fragments of what it was in the past (another problem that the selective amnesia caused: missing links and reasons). When You was my friend.  When You could share a cup of coffee with me over a silly joke or random conversations. When You would look across the room and still could figure out what was running inside my crazy head.  Those were moments I long to go back to.  But now they’ve become all blurry like it never happened. One thing that remained though was that, a moment with You was a moment I shared with a friend.

That’s the only thing I want to recover.  And that was the only thing You cannot give, which was a shame to his famous generosity.

I wanted to stop thinking of the reasons anymore. I wanted to quit asking why we now stand in this dimension. So before I completely forget about You.  I wanted to remember all of those moments again with You, just for this last time before this selective amnesia completely rob me.

In the end… a moment with You was not a moment after all, but a wrinkle in time.  When You and I got caught in a tesseract, caught in the downdraft and blown off course; never again to happen. Never should have happened.